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Hollywood
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HOLLYWOOD
SQUARES: Q. Do female frogs croak? A. Paul Lynde: If you
hold their little heads under water long enough.
HOLLYWOOD SQUARES: Q. If you're going to make a parachute
jump, at least how high should you be? A. Charley Weaver:
Three days of steady drinking should do it.
HOLLYWOOD SQUARES: Q. True or False, a pea can last as long
as 5,000 years. A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way
sometimes.
HOLLYWOOD SQUARES: Q. You've been having trouble going to
sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman? A. Don Knotts:
That's what's been keeping me awake.
HOLLYWOOD SQUARES: Q. According to Cosmo, if you meet a
stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is
it okay to come out and ask him if he's married? A. Rose
Marie: No, wait until morning.
HOLLYWOOD SQUARES: Q. Which of your five senses tends to
diminish as you get older? A. Charley Weaver: My sense of
decency.
HOLLYWOOD SQUARES: Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than
three words to say "I Love You"? A. Vincent Price:
No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.
HOLLYWOOD SQUARES: Q. What are "Do It," "I
Can Help," and "I Can't Get Enough"? A.
George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next
apartment.
HOLLYWOOD SQUARES: Q. As you grow older, do you tend to
gesture more or less with your hands while talking? A. Rose
Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and
I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.
HOLLYWOOD SQUARES: Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear
leather? A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
HOLLYWOOD SQUARES: Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow
strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first
year? A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing
strawberries.
HOLLYWOOD SQUARES: Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score? A.
Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
HOLLYWOOD SQUARES: Q. It is considered in bad taste to
discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what
is the other? A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.
HOLLYWOOD SQUARES: Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the
bedroom or in the closet? A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately
Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.
HOLLYWOOD SQUARES: Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls? A.
Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
HOLLYWOOD SQUARES: Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will
wag his tail. What will a goose do? A. Paul Lynde: Make him
bark?
HOLLYWOOD SQUARES: Q. If you were pregnant for two years,
what would you give birth to? A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is,
it would never be afraid of the dark.
HOLLYWOOD SQUARES: Q. According to Ann Landers, is there
anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot
of people? A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.
HOLLYWOOD SQUARES: Q. While visiting China, your tour guide
starts shouting "Poo! Poo! Poo!" What does this
mean? A. George Gobel: Cattle crossing.
HOLLYWOOD SQUARES: Q. It is the most abused and neglected
part of your body; what is it? A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be
abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.
HOLLYWOOD SQUARES: Q. Back in the old days, when Great
Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to
do? A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
HOLLYWOOD SQUARES: Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period
of time, your wife or your elephant? A. Paul Lynde: Who told
you about my elephant?
HOLLYWOOD SQUARES: Q. When a couple has a baby, who is
responsible for its sex? A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him
the car; the rest is up to him.
HOLLYWOOD SQUARES: Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that
he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at
least two occasions. What are they? A. Charley Weaver: His
feet.
HOLLYWOOD SQUARES: Q. According to Movie Life magazine,
Ann-Margaret would like to start having babies soon, but her
husband wants her to wait awhile. Why? A. Paul Lynde: He's
out of town.
HOLLYWOOD SQUARES: Q. Dennis Weaver, Debbie Reynolds, and
Shelley Winters star in the movie, 'What's The Matter With
Helen?' Who plays Helen? A. Charley Weaver: Dennis
Weaver-that's why they asked the question.
HOLLYWOOD SQUARES: Q. What are 'dual-purpose cattle' good
for that other cattle aren't? A. Paul Lynde: They give milk
... and cookies, but I don't recommend the cookies. |
