Hospital Chart Bloopers
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Actual writings from hospital charts

* The patient refused autopsy.

* The patient has no previous history of suicides.

* Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.

* She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was
very hot in bed last night.

* Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

* On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it
disappeared.

* The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be
depressed.

* The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

* Discharge status: Alive but without permission.

* Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but
forgetful.

* Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

* She is numb from her toes down.

* While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.

* The skin was moist and dry.

* Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.

* Patient was alert and unresponsive.

* Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.

* She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.

* I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical
therapy.

* Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.

* Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

* The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

* Skin: somewhat pale but present.

* The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.

* Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.