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Insulting
Greeting Cards
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I
always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to
love. And now that you've come into my life...
(Inside card) - I've changed
my mind.
I must admit, you brought religion
into my life...
(Inside card) - I never
believed in Hell until I met you.
As the days go by, I think how
lucky I am....
(Inside card) - That you're
not here to ruin it for me.
Congratulations on your promotion.
Before you go....
(Inside card) - Will you take
the knife from my back? You'll probably need it
again.
Someday I hope to marry...
(Inside card) - Someone other
than you.
Happy Birthday! You look great for
your age....
(Inside card) - Almost
lifelike!
When we were together, you said
you'd die for me...
(Inside card) - Now we've
broken up, I think it's time to keep your promise.
We've been friends for a very long
time...
(Inside card) - What do you
say we stop?
I'm so miserable without you...
(Inside card) - It's almost
like you're still here.
Congratulations on your new bundle
of joy....
(Inside card) - Did you ever
find out who the father was?
You are such a good friend. If we
were on a sinking ship and there was only one life
jacket...
(Inside card) - I'd miss you
terribly and think of you often.
Your friends and I wanted to do
something special for your birthday...
(Inside card) - So we're
having you put to sleep.
Looking back over the years we've
been together, I can't help but wonder...
(Inside card) - What was I
thinking?
Congratulations on your wedding
day!...
(Inside card) - Too bad no one
likes your husband.
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