Jokes and One-Liners
Home
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Real Names of
Celebrities
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Ellen Burstyn = Edna
Gilhooley |
Strange
Hospital Chart Notations
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"Patient was alert and unresponsive." |
Military
Rules to Live By
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"Any ship can be a minesweeper. Once." |
Remembering When
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I'll ask my wife what's her name. |
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Stocks
and Bonds |
A long term investment is a short term investment that failed.
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Men Are
Just Happier People |
A five-day vacation requires
only one suitcase.
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Lexophile
Axioms
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A will is a dead giveaway. |
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Natural Laws of
the Universe |
A closed mouth gathers no feet. |
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Grammar Tips |
Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
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Grandparents |
When a child is born, so are grandmothers.
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Hospital
Chart Bloopers
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It only hurts when you laugh! |
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1975
Versus Today |
It's just a matter of time!
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Medical
Insurance Explained |
To Your Good Health (because as you'll see, you'll
need it!)
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When You Win,
Nothing Hurts |
Observations from famous football personalities. |
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Questions That Need Answers
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Who was the first person to look at a cow and say..... |
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True or
False
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That is the question!
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Job
Interview Tips?
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Well...........maybe not! |
Trivia
Tidbits
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A hippo can open its mouth wide enough to fit a 4 foot
tall child inside! Do you know where your children are? |
Strange Classified Ads
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Alzheimer's Center prepares for an affair to remember......... |
Student
Bloopers
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Well, they all don't make A's!! |
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Lawyer Jokes
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Try to sort out which ones are actually jokes.
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Doctor Jokes
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Even they can be funny!
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W.C. Fields |
I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.... |
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Groucho
Marx |
You
bet your life!
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People
Quotes |
Some
things people said. Some famous and some not so famous. |
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Abe
Was A Great Precedent |
Actual answers given by sixth
graders to history tests. |
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You
Might Be From |
You might be from a
Blue State if these fit you.
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Famous
Last Words |
Some
of them may only be famous if you said them.
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Sounds
Reasonable? |
Well
it made sense to them when they said it!
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Winston
Churchill |
Now
that was a guy who made sense!
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Nutty
Warning Labels |
We
would have never figured these out by ourselves.
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Clever
Signs |
Get
the point?
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Women's
T-Shirts |
What's
on 'em - not in 'em!
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Man's
Best Friend |
But
they also like fire hydrants.
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They
Said It |
But
why did they say it?
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Did
You Know? |
Little known facts of
trivia.
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Does
Anyone Care? |
Facts that probably no one in the universe cares about.
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Hollywood
Squares |
Some actual responses to the host's
questions by famous guests.
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Murphy's
Laws |
What can go wrong will go wrong. etc.
etc, etc.
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One
Liners |
Some of the best one liners around.
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More
One Liners |
More
of the above.
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Rodney
Dangerfield |
Some zingers from the guy who
didn't
get any respect.
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Things
People Said |
Things that will make you think but,
then again, probably not.
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You
Probably Don't Care But: |
Some facts of which you will have
absolutely no interest.
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Stupid
Warning Labels |
Some
manufacturers think you
can't figure this out on you own.
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The
Guv'mint |
Famous people's
observations on the government.
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Hot
And Cold |
If you are running
hot and cold, consult with your doctor.
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News
From The Home |
Report on some of the
folks down at the home.
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Hilarious
Headlines |
Things never are as
bad as they really are.
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Things
That Yogi Said |
Yogi said 'em - but
what did he mean?
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From
The Young Folks |
Perfect logic from
the young folks.
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Think About It |
Well, it never hurts!
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Insulting Greeting Cards |
All love and affection!
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