* Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
* A backward poet writes inverse
* In a democracy, it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.
* A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
* If you don't pay your exorcist, you can get repossessed.
* With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
* Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.
* When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
* The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
* A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.
* You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
* Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under.
* He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
* A calendar's days are numbered.
* A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.
* A boiled egg is hard to beat.
* He had a photographic memory, which was never developed.
* A plateau is a high form of flattery.
* The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison: a small medium at large.
* Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
* When you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
* If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.
* When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
* Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
* Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
* Acupuncture: a jab well done.
* Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.
* It is better to have loved a short woman than never to have loved a tall.
