What do you expect from such simple creatures?

* Your last name stays put.

* The garage is all yours.

* Wedding plans take care of themselves.

* Chocolate is just another snack.

* You can be President.

* You can never be pregnant.

* You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

* You can wear NO shirt to a water park.

* Car mechanics tell you the truth.

* The world is your urinal.

* You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.

* You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay.

* Wrinkles add character.

* Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.

* People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

* The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.

* New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

* One mood all the time.

* Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

* You know stuff about tanks.

* A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

* You can open all your own jars.

* You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

* If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

* Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

* Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

* You almost never have strap problems in public.

* You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

* Everything on your face stays its original color.

* The same hairstyle lasts for years .... maybe decades.

* You only have to shave your face and neck.

* You can play with toys all your life.

* Your belly usually hides your big hips.

* One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.

* You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.

* You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.

* You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

* You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.