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Murphy's
Laws
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Index
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- A $200.00 picture tube will protect a 10 cent fuse by
blowing first.
* - A computer program does what you tell it to do, not what
you want it to do.
* - A crisis is when you can't say "Lets forget the
whole thing".
* - A fool and his money are soon partners.
* - A meeting is an event at which the minutes are kept and
hours are lost.
* - A perfect manager can operate in perfect ignorance.
* - After things have gone from bad to worse, the cycle will
repeat itself.
* - An expert is anyone from out of town.
* - An optimist believes we live in the best of all possible
worlds. A pessimist fears this is true.
* - Any task worth doing was worth doing yesterday.
* - Anyone can make a decision given enough facts. A good
manager can make a decision without enough facts
* - Anything dropped while working on a car will roll
underneath to the exact center.
* - As events transpire as a function of time, tend to move
towards a higher state of entropy.
* - Complex problems have simple, easy to understand wrong
answers.
* - Don't let your superiors know you are better than they
are.
* - Everyone lies, but it doesn't matter, since nobody
listens.
* - Everything depends. Nothing is always. Everything
is something
* - For every action there is an equal and opposite
criticism.
* - For every vision there is an equal and opposite
revision.
* - Forgive and remember
* - If a series of events can go wrong, it will do so in the
worst possible sequence.
* - If everybody doesn't want it, nobody gets it.
* - If you don't care where you are, you ain't lost.
* - If you hit two keys on a keyboard, the one you don't
want shows up.
* - If you wait it will go away. If it was bad, it'll come
back.
* - Important letters which contain no errors will develop
errors in the mail.
* - In an organization there is always one person who knows
what is going on. This person must get fired.
* - In front of every silver lining, is a cloud.
* - It is impossible for an optimist to be pleasantly
surprised.
* - Never create a problem for which you don't have the
answer.
* - Never draw what you can copy. Never copy what you can
trace. Never trace what you can cut and paste.
* - Never leave the room during a committee formation or
you're elected.
* - Never test an error condition you don't know how to
handle.
* - No matter what goes wrong, there is always someone who
knew it would.
* - Nothing is ever so bad, that it can't get worse.
* - Opportunity always knocks at the least opportune times.
* - Photographer: The best shots are attempted through the
lens cap.
* - Photographer: The best shots happen right after the last
frame is exposed.
* - Rule for precision: Measure with a micrometer - Mark
with chalk - Cut with an axe.
* - Save yourself a lot of worry, don't burn your bridges
until you come to them.
* - Science is true. Don't be misled by fact.
* - Simple jobs will always be put off, because there will
be time to do them later.
* - Some errors will always go unnoticed until the program
is saved.
* - Teamwork is essential. It allows you to blame someone
else.
* - The best way to inspire fresh thoughts is to seal the
letter.
* - The bigger they are, the harder they hit.
* - The chances of a piece of bread falling butter side down
is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.
* - The cream rises to the top, so does the scum.
* - The first place to look for anything is the last place
you would expect to find it.
* - The item you had your eye on the minute you walk in will
be taken by the person in front of you.
* - The light at the end of the tunnel is the headlamp of an
oncoming train.
* - The longer you stand in line, the greater the likelihood
that you are standing in the wrong line.
* - The more we complicate the plan, the greater the chance
of failure.
* - The person who pays the least, complains the most.
* - The secret to success is sincerity, once you can fake
it, you've got it made.
* - The slowest checker is always at the quick check out
lane.
* - The time it takes to rectify a situation is inversely
proportional to the time it took to do the damage.
* - The worst or stupidest ideas are always the most
popular.
* - There is no time like the present for postponing what
you want to do.
* - Things equal to nothing else are equal to each other.
* - To pick the expert, pick the one who predicts the job
will take the longest and cost the most.
* - Washing your car to make it rain doesn't work.
* - What can go wrong, will go wrong
* - Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
* - When putting it into memory, remember where you put it.
* - When somebody drops something, everyone will kick it
around instead of picking it up.
* - When the going gets tough, everyone leaves.
* - Whenever you cut your fingernails, You will need them an
hour later.
* - You always find something the last place you look.
* - You can always find what you're not looking for.
* - In order for something to come clean, something else
must get dirty.
* - Indecision is the basis for flexibility.
* - Never make a decision you can get someone else to make.
* - Nothing is ever done for the right reason. |
